Duke: “Can’t see me, not even now, can’t see me.”
Hank: “Quiet, you hypocrite insurgent, while I attempt to see where it is we are.”
“I feel rather chipper thanks for asking, Hank. The legs are working well, too, I think? We’re at a place called CALMA, or something. I dislike running errands, so let’s stay here and play. It’s good exorcisms anyhow.”
“You’re making a fool out of yourself by scaling that lamppost like a feral rodent. Do not become an inferior.”
“How can I impossibly do that when I’m here running, or something.”
“It’s a saying, you selfish observer.”
“Shellfish oyster, where? Please tell me the secret hiding place.”
“Now that you’re off the pole, I must omit I was kidding.”
“That was real mean getting my hopes up and all. Look out, I’m going skinny dipping. And around and around I go, like zing and zang quick. Lightning dynamite speedy.”
“Get down, you look like a rodeo clown. You will direct your king on where to go.”
“Which way to Lully Hood?”
“The world may never know, for we are to feast in the valley of bones perpetuated by this tangled mess.”
“It’s like one a them trees filled with kitties, monkeys and stuff. I wished I had my machete. Do you think any a them bad begums are going to bruise myself?”
“With any luck.”
“Are you sure you don’t want a turn on these pole things? It’s like a carousel without a horsey.”
“I decline your offer, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For giving me a stroke of genius. I now know where we should go. This building is one of them artistic institutions. My personal feelings aside, we must scour the intestines of this decrepit hole and learn about the different transforms so to better relate with ‘L.A. people’. Every nation is represented within this tiny intersection of road so it would suit us best to learn and relearn. What better way to do that then to study the formation that brings society together.”
“What’s a spociety?”
“A society is a population at large. Come, much exploring is ahead of us.”
“But, how do we create movement while we’re still between metallic trees?”
“Push your way through.”
“No, Hank, I don’t want to hurt tree friend’s feeling.”
“Push.”
“Why did you just run me over?”
“Because there are many places needing exploring. For instance, we should really go back and visit our trusty dinosaur friends.”
“You mean it?”
“Fool, the art museum awaits.”
“But, I want to visit sours. Fine, but you owe me a balloon.”
“On your own time. Now, come.”
Hank and Duke inside the Art of the Pacific exhibit at Los Angeles County Museum of Art
Tags: art of the pacific exhibit, commentary, duke, Halloween, hank, humor, Los Angeles County Museum of Art, museums, travel
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Duke: “Why are we shoved in a closet, Hank?”
Hank: “Do not let your troubles cloud you. Keep fear at bay, for I have not tricked you. We haven’t yet left the museum property.”
“Really, well this don’t smell like no CALMA to me.”
“Stop it, Duke, for this is a room dedicated to the Art of the Pacific. Touch nothing, for we know how squires are.”
“Hang on, Hank, for this is sure fun.”
“What the devil are you doing riding around a handmade bowl? You obviously did not hear my words of warning. Get out of there before I extinguish you.”
“Sorry, Charlie, but my chariot of thought departed a moment ago. I’m just going around and around, and am not caring or something.”
“You’re going to break that bowl, Duke.”
“You know what, you’re right. I’m sleepy because I’m sick of being thrown around.”
“Allow your king to help you up.”
“You mean it?”
“And not another word about it to anyone.”
“Thanks, Hank, you’re a pal.”
“Stop squirming. No, my right. The other right. Great job, buffoon, you managed to destroy an antique. What are we to do?”
“Relax, Hank, and come beat this drum with me.”
“Stop.”
“Sorry, can’t hear you, Hank because I’m singing. ‘In the CALMAS, the mighty CALMAS, Hank is a sourpuss McGittles.’”
“Your voice is like sipping oleander through a straw. You can raise the dead come to think of it.”
“Thanks, Hank, I’ve always known I possessed a hidden talent. My dream is to sing the unsung billboard of tomorrow. I want a billboard label to arrest me to a contract. What are we doing in this Halloween room if there are no producers to hear my beautiful voice?”
“I brought you here for a history lesson.”
“I like Jurassic history, thanks.”
“Not Jurassic history, but rather a study of a people who congregate together far from here in honor of dead ancestors who came before. You see, this culture is far removed from modernized society. It’s important to learn about all kinds of people, Duke.”
“Hang on a minute there, Hank. This kitty face looks like Uncle Carl.”
“Like Uncle Carl, my word.”
“No, my word.”
“Have at it then.”
“Hank, why is that monkey thing fanging us?”
“Because it wants us dead, Duke. We best put this venture to rest. Quick, left turn at lobster-nosed statue then bolt out the door.”
“Why did—?”
“There is no time. Touch nothing else and simply disappear.”
“Like a magician?”
“Like a magician.”
“But, what about Lallowheen?”
“I bet we can find some locations which specialize in that. Let’s hope we leave LACMA with our souls.”
“CALMA can have mine.”
“Oh, Duke.”