Hank: “Celebrities don’t really work. They act in movies and are the sort of people I shun, the what’s their names Cruise Ship (Tom Cruise); Feather Locker (Heather Locklear); Wack Nicolas (Jack Nicholson); Cole Cage (Nicolas Cage); Yanni Jeph (Johnny Depp).”

Duke: “I was too real, then how come everything in that screen looked like this.”

“Hollywood effect.”

“Lully Hood, what?”

“Hollywood is a town to best abstain from for it features enigmatic artists like, what’s her name, Le These Hereon.”

“Why not Charlize Theron or something. I give up.”

“Le These Hereon — yes, quite a lovely girl. However, that does not change the fact she is just like the others. Why participate in a society when you have the option not to.”

“What’s a caption?”

“I did not say caption, nincompoop. What difference does it make if I correct you? You’re a jester, a sideshow act and nothing more. Somehow someone informed you of such names, yet you not know the word ‘actor.’ Why, you’re just like Jim Carrey before he lost touch.”

“Who’s Skim Scary?”

“Exactly my point, dearest brother. My thanks for your agreement.”

“You wanted to tell me about celery or something, right?”

“Buffoon, why—”

“I want to pet one of them.”

“If your tail was not connected to your body, you would lose it.”

“I lost lots once. Really. Remember that one year when you wanted to go to Lully Hood but you didn’t know how. I do, you cried lots. You said, ‘Why, they have castles and steeds, for they are on my level.’ And then you said, ‘Javier, keep watch over my throne and make sure not a soul soils it. I have many miles to track, many places to greet; riches are to be exchanged, babies kissed and squire women rescued.’ You said it like an angry badger, too. So angry like a badger.”

“You mock my Almighty rule and begin to slander my throat. You poke fun of my superiority? Curse you tenfold. May you feel my wrath.”

“I do like baths. And I do wear Felt.”

“What is the use of subjecting oneself to outlandish thoughts. Perhaps Hollywood is not as despicable as one thinks. I did want to travel there when I was young.”

“I invented something else, or something: Can we see Lully Hood?”

“No, I—”

“Don’t be a stink pot.”

“All right, it has been decided. But where would we attain the capital for such a laborious attempt.”

“What’s Ape It All?”

“Come.”

Tags: California, capital, celebrities, Charlize Theron, duke, finances, hank, Heather Locklear, Hollywood, Johnny Depp, movies, Nicolas Cage, Tom Cruise

This entry was posted on Friday, September 7th, 2012 at 9:17 pm and is filed under Commentary, Fiction, Film, Humor, Inspiration, Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.